Engage & Connect Healing Through Parts
Imagine your mind as a cast of characters (Parts).
Sometimes, when our story is being written,
some of our characters experience traumatic scenes and memories.
This can cause those characters (Parts) to take on a role
they’re not ready for or they don’t want (burdened), which causes
them to feel dramatic, maybe angrily yelling or sobbing in pain.
We all have Parts
Parts are here to help, even if at first they don’t seem to be.
Try listening to your Parts.
Do you ever hear a voice inside that tells you to be perfect?
Do you ever say to yourself a part of me wants to do it, but another part doesn’t?
These “voices” are from our Parts.
Simply listening to our Parts begins to create a positive change.
“Your Inner Cast of Characters”
There are two main characters (Parts)
Remember, Parts are here to help you - they have good intentions
Protectors - Protect against difficult situations
Exiles - Usually very young, live in the past and carry heavy burdens.
2 - Protectors
Managers - are proactive, they prepare for difficulties and make sure our lives run smoothly.
Burdened Manager - ex. A perfectionist. They are driven by the fear of making mistakes or falling short of expectations. Motto: “Never Again!!”
Firefighters - are reactive, they come into action once we are in a perceived threat of danger.
Burdened Firefighter - has us engage in impulsive behaviors, such as overeating, excessive shopping or substance abuse as a way to cope with emotional pain. Motto: “I must stop this pain no matter what!”
Exiles
“I’m unlovable”
A young Part holding extreme feelings and/or beliefs that are isolated from the rest of the characters (Parts).
“I’m unworthy!”
“I’m never safe”
The Self isn’t a Part; it doesn’t carry burdens or play roles like the parts do.
It’s the “you” that remains when you’re not identified with or carried away by any of your parts.
When a person is leading from their Self, they can listen to and understand their parts without becoming overwhelmed by them.
Self can be described by Compassion, Courage, Creativity, Confidence, Calm, Curiosity, and Connectedness.
ASK YOURSELF
Has there been a time when you were overwhelmed with shame, feeling alone or powerless?
"Have you ever felt upset and noticed that your reactions mirrored those from your childhood?"
If so, this might be an Exile part.
GROUNDING TOOL KIT & Coping Skills
Having your grounding kit ready is like having a cozy blanket and a warm cup of tea handy on a stormy night.
Familiarizing yourself with your toolkit before difficult emotions arise provides a reliable comfort and reassurance to lean into. It's essential to ensure that your toolkit is equipped with items that bring you serenity, comfort, and a sense of safety, always available for use during difficult moments.
Items to possibly have in your grounding tool kit:
Soft and textured items like a soft blanket or stuffed animal to hold. A smooth or textured stone to hold in your hand.
A stress ball or a fidget tool to help you distract and focus.
Scented candles or essential oils. Peppermint and Lavender are soothing.
A Journal to jot down emerging thoughts or emotions. Sketch, draw or doodle.
Write down 3 things that you are grateful for right at this moment. Gratitude is a powerful tool.
Use your cell and take a photo of 3 things that you are grateful for right at this moment.
Listening to your favorite calming music.
Shake a glitter jar to create a soft, pleasant sound.
A picture or item that creates feelings of peace and safety.
Items and photographs associated with positive and comforting memories can serve as tangible tokens of happiness, love, and safety.
Methods and techniques: it is best to have practiced these exercises ahead of time. Practice helps wire and strengthen new neural pathways that your brain will use if you become triggered.
BREATH WORK Deeply breathe in, holding your breath 4 seconds and then SLOWLY exhale for 8 seconds. Repeat until you feel less of the overwhelming emotion. This exercise offers an immediate anchor to the present.
LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION Cultivate feelings of love and kindness towards yourself by repeating phrases like “May I be happy.” “May I be well.” “May I be safe.” “May I be peaceful and at ease.” Gradually, extend these wishes to loved ones, acquaintances and even people whom you may have conflicts. This can soften self criticism.
MINDFULNESS EXERCISE
Ask and answer yourself out loud “What are 3 things I can see, hear and touch?” If you are in public and cannot speak out loud then saying it in your head will work too. This exercise gently guides your attention away from the distressing thoughts and back to the current moment.
Tell yourself out loud, “I can feel my feet on the ground, I can feel my butt in the seat.”
Write in your journal. Journaling is a great way to focus yourself and be in the present moment.
GRATITUDE PRACTICE Make a list of things you are grateful for in your life. Try to write down at least 3 things every day. Focusing on what you are grateful for can shift your attention away from negativity and self criticism.
JOURNALING FOR SELF COMPASSION Write down any negative thoughts or feelings you have about yourself. Then, reframe them in a positive and compassionate way, as if you were comforting a friend. This can provide insight into negative self talk and help cultivate a more compassionate inner dialogue.
REFRAMING THOUGHTS Reframing thoughts takes practice. Initially, it may feel a bit awkward or forced, but with time and consistency, it can become a beneficial habit that supports a compassionate relationship with oneself.
TIPS FOR REFRAMING THOUGHTS
acknowledge the original thought without judgement.
validate your emotions and experiences.
consider alternative perspectives or experiences.
focus on growth, learning and adaptability.
EXAMPLES:
“I failed, so I am a failure.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “I didn’t succeed this time, but that doesn’t define me. Everyone experiences setbacks. And I can learn from this experience for the future.”
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “My emotions are valid and it’s ok to feel this way.” “Emotions are a natural human experience, and it’s important to acknowledge them.”
“I’ll never be good at this.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “I’m struggling with this now, but with practice and effort, I can improve over time.” “Progress is a journey.”
“No one cares about me.”
RERAME THOUGHT “I might feel isolated right now, but I am loved and valued by people in my life. “It’s ok to reach out and connect.”
“I always mess things up.”
RERAME THOUGHT “I made a mistake, but everyone makes mistakes.” “It doesn’t make me less worthy or capable.” “I can learn and grow from it.”
“I am not as talented as my colleagues.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “I bring my unique skills and qualities to the table.” “Comparing myself to others doesn’t define my worth.” “We all have our strengths and challenges.”
“I should have known better.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had at the time.” “It’s an opportunity to learn and do differently next time.”
“My life should be different.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “My life is a journey with ups and downs, and that’s ok.” “I accept where I am now and know that I can work towards change in a compassionate way.”
“I’m not strong enough to handle this.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “This is really challenging, but I have faced difficulties before and have gotten through them.” “I will take this one step at a time and seek support when I need it.”
“It’s too late to change.”
REFRAME THOUGHT “It’s never too late to make positive changes.” “Every moment presents a new opportunity to take a step in a different direction.”
MOVE YOUR BODY - ACTION
Go on a Mindfulness walk. Sometimes taking action and moving our bodies is a big help in relieving overwhelming emotions. On your walk, have intention and really pay attention to the details. Focus on each step, noticing the movement of your feet and the rest of your body. Observe what’s around you without judgement. Look at the patterns of the flowers and the clouds, or listen to the birds singing and the wind in the trees. Feel the light breeze or the sun on your skin.
Dance. Moving our bodies in rhythm is a fantastic way to release tension, stress and activate positive feelings.
COMPASSIONATE BODY POSTURE Place your hand over your heart and maintain it for a few minutes while breathing gently, focusing on warm, positive energy. Physical gestures can trigger a corresponding emotional state, helping to enhance feelings of self compassion.
BODY SCAN MEDITATION Begin at one end of your body, such as your toes, and pay focused attention to each part as you slowly move towards the top of your head. Without judgement, notice any sensations, pain or tension. This practice helps develop and awareness and acceptance of your body and its sensations, fostering a kind relationship with it.
Getting to know your Parts
PARTS WANT TO BE SEEN AND HEARD.
BURDENED HEADSPACE
By clicking I AGREE, you acknowledge that the information provided is solely for educational purposes only and does not establish a therapeutic relationship.
Identify Parts
(Perfectionist Manager)
Each Part you want to explore, give it a name or label. Describe it in detail.
What does it feel like?
Ex: Anxiety
What are it’s thoughts, feelings and emotions?
Ex: “I can’t mess up.”
Remember, you are not the part, it is a part of you, but it’s not all of you.
You might say to yourself: “I notice a part of me is pushing me to be perfect and is scared of making mistakes. That is not all of me, that is a part of me.
Be curious, What can you do to help your Parts needs and concerns?
How can you offer compassion and kindness to this Part?
Write down any insights that may come up.
Express Gratitude for any insights gained and the work you're doing.
GOOD JOB!
Engaging with a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach is recommended for optimal outcomes when working on identifying and healing "Parts." Their expertise ensures a supportive and effective healing journey.
INSTRUCTION VIDEO CAN YOU PICTURE YOURSELF HEALED?
HEADSPACE UNBURDENED HEALED PARTS
DISCLAIMER
Our trauma recovery coaching site is designed to provide support and information for individuals on their healing journey. It is essential to understand that:
Our platform is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care. If you are in crisis or require immediate assistance, please contact a qualified healthcare provider or your local emergency services.
The content and resources offered here are intended for educational and supportive purposes. They are not a form of therapeutic or medical intervention.
Trauma recovery is a highly individualized process, and what works for one person may not work for another. We encourage you to seek the guidance of a certified trauma recovery coach or mental health professional to address your unique needs.
By using our platform, you acknowledge that the information provided is for educational purposes and does not constitute a therapeutic relationship. It is essential to consult with a qualified professional for personalized assistance.
Remember, your well-being is our priority, and we encourage you to seek professional guidance when dealing with trauma or mental health concerns. Our platform is here to complement and support your recovery journey but should not be relied upon as a sole source of assistance.